I spent a day once with a pair of middle-aged male in London once. One of them, I had flown with before while the other was a good friend of his which was a pilot from our company. I decided to tag along with them when my expressed his intention to look for a street Tardis. It was rare to find a fellow Whovian in the Philippines let alone in the same company so I decided to go with him. His buddy happily joined us. After successfully finding the Tardis and having other small adventures, we ended the day in the pub near our hotel. You know how pub talk goes. Our topics went from Doctor Who to porn to Star Wars to finding love to the aviation history to meeting new people.
So, why am I bringing this up? The pilot asked me of my first impression of him. I said that I don’t do first impressions. He told me that I should make first impressions especially that I work with different people everyday. It gives a precaution of how I should act towards them.
I asked him what was his first impression of me. He said that he thought that I was an independent woman that does not take ‘no’ for an answer. It apparently showed my age as I was too idealistic and naive to not judge people at first glance. I accepted his answer then he shared to us that most people, especially girls, think of him as a ladies’ man on first sight.
So why am I bringing this up? Earlier today, I read a post by the fantastical Sidney Aldaine about what do people think about when they encounter people for the first time. It reminded me of that incident.
That is exactly why I don’t do first impressions. Grammatically, a first impression is one’s idea on another person based on instinct even with the definite lack of evidence. I don’t do first impression because it is the basest form of judgment.
Judgment is very deadly in forming a relationship with another person. It is unfair to a person who is given a first impression because he is forced to prove the one giving the impression wrong without him knowing it. Because, to be frank, how many times did your first impression become right?
It is in the word itself. Impression. It is like you’re giving the person the task to impress you within the first five seconds of you looking at him. Who are you to be made an impression for?
How many times in my young life have I seen the most sour faces to have the most beautiful hearts? How many times have I seen the most well-dressed to have the most foul of attitudes? How many times have I seen the youngest to be the most matured?
I watch people. I look for details and mannerisms. It takes time but that is how I make a hypothesis of what the person is about. Then I ask the person about himself, noting to myself that I was right or wrong. I am pleasantly surprised when my hypothesis is right. I become more intrigued when I am wrong, pressing the person with more questions.
What do I see when I see a person for the first time? I look for distinguishable facial features so that I can remember them the possible future that I see them again. Then, I check out their clothes. If I like it, I take note for fashion inspiration the next time that I need to dress up. If not then, okay. If it floats their boat, who am I to sink it? Then that is it.
I am not picky with friends and acquaintances. Everyone has their own story to tell. If they express their intention to be more than friends then that is a different story altogether.